Taliban to Bail-Out Obama From Debt Crisis

According to reliable sources, negotiations are underway which would have Mullah Muhammad Omar loan President Barack Obama enough money so that the United States does not default on its financial obligations. During the secret debt relief talks Mullah Omar reportedly lectured President Obama on: “How to wage war and still make a profit.”

The Taliban have no debt and do not need any debt limit increases as they are flush with millions in opium revenues and “acquired” U.S./NATO aid funds. The massive diversion of Afghan aid funds to the Taliban is detailed in the Kabul Press^?’ April 17, 2011, investigative report: “Petraeus Fired Admiral Who Tried To Stop Taliban Funding.”
Under the debt relief deal, the Taliban would dispatch a Financial Aid and Assistance Team (FAAT) to help train Obama Administration officials in financial responsibility. Some of the FAAT’s preliminary findings are:
1. The U.S. State Department’s budget is bloated by as much as $25 billion and can be safely cut.
2. American diplomats are poorly trained, overpaid and ineffective and should all be sent home.
3. USAID development aid has primarily benefited a small group of politically connected Afghan families and should be terminated. USAID should instead focus exclusively on humanitarian aid (food and health assistance).
4. U.S. security contractors (i.e., mercenaries) are a blight on America’s image and reputation (in addition to being excessively expensive) and should all be disbanded. The State Department should return to the use of U.S. Marines as Embassy security guards.
5. Due to the current 25% annual desertion rate, Afghan Army and police training is not cost effective and new ideas need to be explored, including a much smaller and more professional force, perhaps capped at 100,000.
6. The massive American war effort in Afghanistan has generated huge volumes of trash, oils, spent munitions and hazardous waste. Its operations have also caused extensive damage to the forests, deserts, groundwater and other natural resources of Afghanistan. It is estimated that as much as $100 billion will be needed to excavate and remove all this waste from Afghanistan and to restore the countryside. The U.S. Government needs to begin budgeting for these costs (see the April/May 2010, three-part Kabul Press series which analyzed this $100 billion).